I have at least 2 months left to complete my degree…. and it’s so difficult to focus and everything when i have to plan my parents visit for my convocation…. I have to plan so many things… europe trip… tickets… buying tickets… make sure the hotel is right for them… gosh… so many things to do while i still have a dissertation and  2 assignments and 1 exam to do in May… I’m now in the middle of my HRS assignment together with my dissertation… one’s due on the 3 April and the other 27 April.. then another assignment on 22 May and the exam on 26 May… and after that i only have 4/5 days to pack my stuff to be shipped home… and 1st June down to London.. continue with the Euro interrail with Unna… and come back to fetch my family (mum, dad, Basil and mama) back to Europe then back to Sunderland for my graduation and then back again to Europe before flying back to Miri… sigh… tight schedule… no time to loose… 

I can’t believe i said that I’ll come back for my master’s one day… I don’t even think I want to read another book… makes me want to puke… maybe research t is not me… i can’t wait to go back and start working… and earn money…. and re-pay my dad… sorry daddy… have been spending your money on studying… that i got sick and tired of…. oh well….

Its almost 3 am now.. gotta go to sleep… my whole back is aching… thanks to my assignment… if i can’t sleep… can’t waste time… need to read some books… (PUKE!!!!)… 

Oh, I pulled out like 3 white hair on my head the other day… concern concern concern… it must be the stress… blame it on the assignment again….

Okie.. that’s all from me now.. Wish me luck… hopefully will get good results in all those assessment…XOXO

Well, my umbrella broke a couple of weeks ago… my favorite dome shape, transparent with purple strips on the side was broken after a strong wind blow directly at me and i was protecting my face with it and ‘Snap’, there was a big hole at the top of the dome and the metal piece was broken to 2. I was sad, i was angry at the wind, i threw it away at the nearest rubbish bin but when i reach uni, i totally forgotten about my dead umbrella.

Yesterday, i went to collect my assignment and I was so sad and angry because i got a 2:2 but I’ve put a lot of effort into it and i expected either a 1st or a 2:1. I can’t accept it that I will need to see my lecturer or the examiner who marked it tomorrow to explain why. I’m not usually like this. I always accept and forget about it whenever i receive any assignments. But this time, i’m different. I’m so angry. Was it my fault that i didn’t put as much effort into the assignment or … I dont know… everyone’s quite pissed and sad with their results actually… so maybe it’s the examiner’s strictness..Oh well. What to do? FOcus on the rest of the other assignments– 1St… 1st… 1st….

I have no intention at all to hurt this friend of mine… It all started when we all have this need to take a break from doing our assignments and Leo suggested to play ‘7 Spade’ a card game which is very easy to learn and you can master it in a few minutes. It has become ‘our thing’ an entertainment to release stress among us four very close friends. Then one day, one of our other friend came to visit and we suggest that she play a game with us before she leaves… She asked me “Is it easy to play?” and I replied, “It’s very easy, even …(one of the person in my group)… can play”, I seriously have no intention of saying that. It’s because my friend just learnt how to play it and she won straightafter. I actually wanted to say’ “…. just learnt how to play and ……won”. This statement offended my friend because it made him/her sound stupid and that with that statement ….stupid but …. can still play… I feel really awful… How could I ever say that to a friend… I wish i didn’t say anything at all… Now, the stupid and embarassed one is me, not that friend of mine… I apologise so many times but the thought of doing such a mean thing is just unforgivable.

I’m beginning to hate kids already… I have to work an ACE day today and the students are all so negative, They dont want to do anything, they even don’t want to say anything for their presentation. Other ambassadors just seem to cope with their group just fine but my group sucks… some of the students were good but there was one Bitch that was so negative about everything and that drags everyones down. Why do they have to be so miserable when they can get out of school for a day and have a field trip to the university plus free lunch and transportation?? I guest it’s just what kids do best, TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED… I remember when i was just a kid, i obey and be as happy as possible everytime… It’s just not fair, I’m trying to be friendly to them and all i get was humiliation and what an ambassador I am. I think i need to just stop working on ACE days for the moment… my confidents dealling with these students had went to a bare minimum level…

I can’t seem to start on my assignments for days now, I’m getting sick and tired of it so I’m going to write a random blog. A lot of drama happened for the past few months or weeks and it’s been ages that i didn’t jot down a single word in my blog.. Right, just to keep myself updated, my friend’s brother is going to jail, how horrible is that?, I’m suppose to go to Manchester today but nah…my housemates went and i hope they’ll enjoy themselves,THE HOUSE IS QUIET WITHOUT YOU GUYS!! COME BACK ASAP!! I’m going to Newcastle tomorrow after church -Oh and I’m reading the second reading at mass.. hehe..-, wanna check out the German Market and eat at spice cube, a lot of drama u missed, quarreling, people change, anger and freaking childish behavior within the environment i’m in. Well, I guess that’s what spice up our human lives right.. it’s very difficult to actually stay happy and positive all the time… It’s -5(negative five) degrees here now… freezing cold… I’m wearing like 3 layers, actually wanted to do some christmas shopping but it’s too cold better stay at home and work on those assignments. I want to go home after I graduate but should i go home or should I not go home? Decisions, decisions, decisions…  just have to make a decision and never regret it…I miss Unna, I’ve been watching our video’s together when we’re in London.. I’ve written most of my xmas cards already… gonna distribute starting monday…I know i know… it’s too soon… but i don’t want last year’s incident to happen again-didn’t get to distribute all of them…I had Thanksgiving dinner last THursay, it was fabulous. I finally knew what THanksgiving is for…3 of my friends are graduating this 4 December and I’m gonna be a sous chef, how cool is that?!? I think this blog is the worst blog of mine ever… written randomly… no structure just everything from the corner of my brain… What else happened?? hhmm…i guess that’s it… oh ya, is dressing up and make-up-ing very important each time we girls go out of the house?? My roommate intend to buy every jewelery or outfit she likes even if it’s not her size… is this how girls are suppose to be like?? and my other housemates… she never leave the house without any eye make up (Eye liner, Eye shadow & mascara) is it crucial?? My mum says that there’s this Taiwanese lady who said that there is no ugly women in this world, there are only lazy women… so no matter how ugly you are, you can be beautified with all the make-up and outfits you’re wearing. But those who don’t care about there appearances are lazy…hmm… okie, i guess i’m done here… back to my assignments…

Remember the time when i said that i love my new room at Cooper St, I really meant it because it’s a big room with a reasonable price, it’s newly refurbished, gigantic wardrobe and extra shelves to put my stuff. Now, since a week ago I have an extra cargo so to say… my ex-housemate is now my room mate and I call her my ‘roomie’. Before she move in I wanted to share everything with her so I moved half of my stuff away to make space for her to put her stuff for example the drawers, the selves and the wardrobe. The wardrobe was the most difficult part where I have to put away some of my clothes so that she can occupy half of the wardrobe… I want it to be fair and square because she’s paying the rent too… The feeling is like, like, like having an elder sister in the room and being the only girl in my family this is like a privilege to experience having a sister like what I’ve always wanted ever since young. My roomie is doing her dissertation now and I’m trying my best to make her as comfortable as possible… not to mention disciplining her to efficiently do her dissertation… HAHAHA.. kidding… anyway, everyone knows Mariane hate being lonely and this is like a gateway for me to experience living with someone I love… i don’t have to put up with any bitchy attitude or tolerate at all… My roomie is just the best…I Love you Yuni.

I’m not going to make it too special because it’s number 100th but there are a few things i would like to write.

In any relationship 2 people are meant to be there through anything how little it may be and at any single moment should always be happy in their relationship. Only you can judge so always do what makes you happy! (Erica, Barbados)

i got 2 contract now, should i cancel one and stick to the other…or keep both and get another phone?? hmmm…should i get an Iphone??

I say “la” and they say “dong”… In every sentence or word i would put a “la” at the end to excegerate the sentence or word that I’ve said… now I’ve adapted another word in order to excegerate people, it’s “dong”… hehe… It’s so different comparing both Malaysian and Indonesian…i guess that’s what makes it special…I would write more but my lunch time is over so i guess that’s it.. my 100th BLOG

Well, it’s a long story… I kinda quarreled with my good friend and I thought that I was mature enough to handle it but i thought wrong… There is still a lot of things for us to think about, reflect on ourselves and reflect on how our friends dearest to us react on us when a bad situation happens… Quarreling is so childish… All this time I’ve been talking about other people being so childish and now it’s happening to me.. Why? Do I need the attention? Is it because I want to prove myself or something? I don’t know? It can’t be… Why people quarrel because of little things and that long term friendship can’t even override that tiny little problem… but i wouldn’t say that it’s a problem.. i think it’s more of a mistake… I did a mistake that make everyone have a different perception of me.. it’s not what i want but it’s unfair to judge people by their mistakes right… right? sigh…The “Pantai” actually almost “tidak Jadi” but we (my girlfriends and I) made it happen and we had a great time at the beach… I hope after this incident everyone learnt their lesson and everything can go back to normal … No more mistakes for miss Mariane and please Grow Up!

This should probably be taped
to your bathroom mirror
where one could read it every day.
You may not realize it,
but it’s 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world
that you would die for.

2. At least 15 people in this world
love you in some way..

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you
is because they want to
be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone,
even if they don’t
like you.

5. Every night,
SOMEONE thinks about you
before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. You are special and unique.

8. Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever,
something good comes from it.

10. When you think the world has
turned its back on you, take another look.

11. Always remember the compliments you received.
Forget about the rude remarks.

So….
If you are a loving friend,
send this to everyone,
including the one that sent it to you.
If you get it back, then they really do love you.

And always remember…..
When life hands you lemons,
Ask for Gin and and a mixer and call me over!

Good friends are like stars…..
You don’t always see them,
But you know they are always there.

I would rather have one rose and a kind word
from a friend while I’m here
than a whole truck load when I’m gone.

Forward to all your friends.
And don’t tell me you’re too busy for this..
Don’t you know the phrase
’stop and smell the flowers’?
See how many ‘bouquets’ you end up with!

Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keeps You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But your own faith keeps You Going